Whoa~! Guess what?
I said I was gonna upload photos of my taiwan trip but ~ Tah DAAH~! The glorified camera we used to take almost 98.55% of our trip went bust and screwed up the SD card. Or it was the SD card's problem in the first place. Or it was the netbook we loaded our data in, or it could be a number of other things like for example, the main culprit of all unexpected events - global warming - or Skynet's cyber mainframe of cyborg hostile takeover, because I HAVE NO PHOTOS.

Yes~
We lost 98.55% (that's an accurate percentage, mind ya) of our photos.
Luckily, I did take some snap-shots with my 3.2 Mpx phone camera so all is not lost. Well, actually - it is. But, Argh! I don wanna remember.

So here~! Enjoy with my deepest condolences *sniff*.

Sis armed with a big black, but white elephant of a camera. Ready to Rock n Roll baby!

Visited a nature park in *insert chinese name here*

At Jinguashi. That's me taking a shot of my sis taking a shot at my mum taking a shot at some sea-bed moss. I hope.

At the Volcanic crater at YangTai Shan. Man, you don't get scenery like this in Singapore.

Orange juice and a Cow-tongue biscuit. The biscuit is sweet and pasty. A simple snack while breathing in sulphuric fumes from the crater.

Curry rice dinner at Eslite mega bookstore. Kinda like our Popular back at home, but 12x bigger and stocks everything from books to cutlery.

Went to a Lutheran church on Sunday (last day) there. English service, of course.

JUST CAME BACK FROM TAIWAN, BABY .

Actually it was yesterday.

Just thinking of all the photos i'll have to upload gives me a headache so I'll just type about my trip (like anyone cares) and edit the pretty-ed up entry when I have the time (which i don't).

Taipei in 100 words (195 actually) :

Arrived at airport with neck cramp from ride. Check in to 20°c & zero humidity. See three 7-11’s within 400m – they’re everywhere. Visited a national park and see plants. Nice plants but no animals, it’s winter anyway.

Shopped like hell, really ~ shoppers paradise. Fail to find a single overweight female on the streets. Everyone look like they just came out from an Elle photo-shoot. Look at my Bermudas and sandals & feel massively out of place. See a Show Luo-looking guy applying foundation on the bus. Check my sexual orientation – yep, straight. Proceed to vomit after bus-ride. Taipei buses are like jelly. Wobbly as heck.

Visit a mountain that smelt like rotten eggs, see (hear) fellow Singaporeans. We are as ubiquitous as 7-11s, seriously.

Eat mango-milk ice with small tangyuan ~ divine. Eat it 3 days straight. Eat at Shilin, awesome. Eat at Shida ~ heavenly. Eat at the Toilet Restaurant ~ cute concept, atrocious food.

Basically, Taipei is THE place to shop and eat. And ogle at Barbie doll manga-esque ladies (if you’re the crass sort who notices such things). A bit lacking on the scenery factor, but hey – that’s what Australia is for.

Listening to Chris Garneau's Music for Tourists .
Simply divine music . Makes me wanna reach for a guitar i do not have, and strum a song of getting old.

Clue 1*: It is organic

Clue 2*: It contains haemoglobin

Clue 3*: It is NOT anything obscene.

Ans: It's my face. Swollen like the Nile in August. Hurting like the heart of Juliet. Omnious like the Joker with his pencil trick. And missing 4 teeth like most of Batman's victims in which he totally rules except next to Wolverine compared next to Rorsharch who is such a total badass my brain just caved in from their combined sheer awesomeness.

Excuse the pretentious BS language. Was doing literature just now.

Here are the photos I promised of my hostel.

Here are the photos of my uni classrooms.

Here are the photos of my latest assignment.




Actually, if you can't see them you may have to reload the page.

Just kidding. I didn't take the photos and you won't mind cos, who the hell cares.
I have a truck load of homework now and a bunch of assignments and blah and blah.

This is basically a filler post so my blog doesn't die on me while I scour around for some spare time to do a proper post. Something like what the Naruto anime likes to throw at us. Just that mine has less crap and useless characters.

The end.

Lynch:
kill without legal sanction


There is something I'd really like to lynch right now.

What? What?!

Random blog post ahoy ole' mates! Land ho! Please rub your eyes to take in a bunch of erratic words which will subsequently be follwed by a barrage of nonsense & cam-whore.
Antiseptic cream & ale are in the bunker. Rehabilitation not included.

I'm supposed to say something about my new school & home but I have so much homework piled on my head my brain caved in.

Homework is like mouldy cheese. The further away it is from you, the better.

Cheese, yes.

Cheese is actually very good. Especially when it's on a pizza. Coming out from an oven in Restaurante De Parma in Serangoon Gardens.

I'd really love to wax a lyrical as bald as a bald bikini-line here but I don't have the time (glances at clock) because I have to meet my girlfriend today & do stuff. So I'll just unload a bunch of gorgeous pics here.

Restaurante De Parma ~ Say that with an Italian accent & go dance cabaret


Mushroom soup! With a stick of something across. Eaten with parsley & a whole lotta satisfaction


Fragrant herb bread just out of the oven. You can see the wholesome grains bursting out of their fluffy confines. Begging you to "Eat me! Eat me!".
Eaten with olive oil and dark vinegar dip. The flavours just explodes in your mouth.

Ceasar salad with lettuce so juicy it had to be genetically modified.
The zuchinis & radishes personally plucked from God's own garden.
Tossed with pepper and cheese bits - Simply divine.


If that cow was still alive, it would have had the highest honour of being served on this plate.
Just look at that mound of succulent goodness drenched in glistening sauce with a merry bit of rosemary on top.
Lucky lucky cow.





Smoked salmon pizza with onions and capers.
The white cheese base was so light it was like eating fluffy clouds yet tasty enough to hold the combination of fish and bread flavours together.
The capers enhanced the tang of the salmon but did not overpower it. Awesome.
An insanely difficult to prepare dish that had me waiting 30 min but worth every single penny.


Spiced chilli and moist bacon topped with all the cheese in the world and a crispy pizza base to die for. Strong, flavourful and will make you fat. But that's still a good thing.

Humans are the only species in the world who willingly eat foods that induce a lasting, painful burning sensation, so says the professors from ScienceDirect.

Do you know why?

Well, I can't tell ya now cos that article costs USD$5 to read and I only read the excerpt from google search. Heh heh.

To all those out there who cannot eat their chicken rice without watery chilli - who cannot eat laksa without that extra spoon of sambal - who bring little packets of chilli sauce on long trips to Australia - who personally profess to be the "Chillie King" - Who boasts about their astounding threshold on spicy stuff ... ... ... I have just the thing for you!

~ *Drum da dum dum dum Dang~ Dang* cue mexican guitar music ~

Deep in the heart of Seletar airbase where the cacophony of urban life fail to pierce, where the lalang grow tall and the angsana trees stand like silent sentinels ... ... there was an elusive diner.
So elusive it was that my dad got lost 3 bleeping times even when relying on his hand-held GPS system.
Seriously, the place doesn't even have signboards! Just endless strips of black tar you drive on that spontaneously splits into forks and dead-ends as if flipping you the bird for having the nerve to attempt such a journey. Tsk tsk.

But it was worth it - oh lord, it was worth it.

We were looking for the obscure Sunset Bar & Pub - famed for their gigantic portions, fish & chips, pain-in-the-ass location and nightmarishly spicy buffalo wings. I shit you not.

The place was like finding a coke machine in the sahara dessert ~ Just look at the photo below.


If this were a panoramic shot, all you'd see at the sides of the photo would be an endless expanse of wilderness. And air-space. Romantic as hell, I tell ya.

Really??!! Is Singapore even capable of having such a rustic diner in its bleeding-edge sophisticated world of concrete and glass? Call in the contractors and the JTC! There is a blasphemous speck of old-world charm leeching on our plans for land maximization!


Sunset bar & pub, located near the Singapore Flying Club. Bring a compass to navigate around.

This is the most beautiful restaurant I've ever been to.
Amid the overgrown weeds and cracked stone paths, this place is a gem of an era long past that sleeps oblivious to the rapid modernizing raging around it.

The decor felt like one of those yee-har american saloons crossed with an airplane aficionado fevered dream because the walls and shelves were crammed full of airplane photos/trophies/famous (dead) pilots/ airplane models/ posters etc.

The place was also dim and smokey and choke full of liquor displays (like a true blue yankee bar)


My bro took the shot. He suffers from Parkinsons. Thus the size of the photo to reduce blur.

So so so, we're here to taste their legendary buffalo wings.
The wings have a range from level 1 all the way to level 40. What the hell are these levels for? Some chicken-mario platformer? Nope! These levels indicate how big your balls are because if you can take a spicy-ness of level 40 - you've got cajones the size of jupiter.

Guess what, my dad wanted to be some gung-ho manly man and try level 8. LEVEL CRAPPIN 8!
He heartily asked the waiter, "May I know the level of chilli padi on the scale?"
Oh-ho-ho-ho! The waiter gave a sneaky grin and said, "Chilli padi is about.... ... level 3"
So my dad ate the humble pie and we eventually settled for a level 4. And boy it was still the hottest thing I've ever eaten.


You wanna know what was the sensation like eating it? It's like someone made a pie out of tabasco and sulphuric acid and crammed it down your mouth with a wasabi-coated plunger. Then you douse yourself in kerosene and light yourself up. It's that painful.
Check out my hot-O-meter below:

Seriously, if you think tabasco extra spicy was the pinnacle of spicyness, you're wrong. And the crazy thing is, there are actually people who have tried all the way up to level 40, the bastards.

Anyway, enough about masochistic buffalo wings. The other servings at Sunset bar and pub were totally awesome and oily and scrumptious! Oooh lala~ the stuff here will clog your arteries faster than swallowing a gallon of lard.

And the portions were HUGE! I could kill someone with the fish & chips platter should I drop it on their heads.

A killer plate of food. Go ahead, measure up. It's roughly 2.5 times the size of her head.

Battered fried mushrooms. Yeah man~ load up on those calories.


The room was so steamy from the uber spicy wings the photo got misty. Or the waiter's hand had parkinsons.

The Sunset Bar and Pub is the best place for over-testostroned jerks. Buy them a plate of level 15 buffalo wings and tell them it's "just a bit more spicy than average".

Then sit back and snigger silently as you watch them try to prove their manliness by choking down these killer wings. Very humbling I tell ya, very humbling.

Hey, guess what?
The cobwebs stuck my keyboard keys together and so i have not done an update until now.

It also seems that not much will be missed because i am basically talking to digital air, right?
Right?! Is there anyone on this cold terrestrial plain of cyberspace who cares to tune their frequency to my virtual loquacity?

Alright, starting off ... ... I just finished watching The Mask of Zorro on DVD, so I'm up to my ear-drums in flamenco music and over-the-top horse chases.

As you know, Mexico is more than just sombreros and mafia - they have gold, crazy horses, foxy ladies and Antonio Banderas.
Good Ole' Antonio makes it look really easy flicking out a "Z" on any surface with a meter long sliver of aluminium too and he can jump down a 4 storey building and not break a leg.
Aaahhh... the joys of Hollywood.

My sister has come back from the land of Yankees and super-sized hamburgers.
She come bearing gifts of toys, clothes, perfume and hopefully not the H1N1 virus.

My brother just got his $100 pay check for a month of waiting on tables.
He will consequently blow all of it on pool.

My father wants me to do a $100 website for him.
I close my eyes and pretend i never saw that email.

Señor Zorror tips whips his hat off in a sweeping bow and heroically jumps on his gallant steed in a motion faster than lightning.
Then, galloping up the rugged stone steps of a building, he unassumingly places himself with swiss precision in the halo of the setting sun. Then, thoughroughly defying all logic, he and his gallant steed leaps off the building and vanishes. Suffering no bruises or cuts except the ones cleverly placed on by a cunning director and a cool make-up artist.

The End.

Listening to Angus & Julia Stone.

Because they rock my socks off.


Makes me wanna write nonsense,

A smokey bar with rocky chairs,
The jukebox plays but no one cares,
A gin & tonic, my dear friend
To drown my troubles of no end

Hidey ho~ hidey ho~

To drown my troubles of no end

Woooww~ Do I even update this thing?

I remember when I first started out blogging I was so enthusiatic about the whole she-bang I was checking my blog a gazillion times a day. Admiring the disgusting blogskin, the ridiculous posts and the silent c-box.

But that was in 2007.
Ancient history man~ ancient history.

Now the prehistoric dinosaur rears her head and contemplates the deep profound significance of a home in the museum and a shift to Wordpress.

Anyway, that aside. Here's a pop quiz for you... ...

1) Have you felt that Singapore is small, insignificant and downright boring?

2) Have you felt that you have been to ALL the shopping districts in Singapore and prowled through ALL the auntie & uncle shops just to find you are better off shopping online?

3) Are you really sure Singapore is so dull and boring?

4) Really?

--------------------------------

Well, if you have answered a resounding YES for all 4 questions, you are WRONG!

Because I (with shan) just found these few gems of heavenly, unbelievably un-singaporean, un-boring, utterly brain-blowingly awesome lifestyle cafes that are guaranteened to send you to cuteness rehabilitation centres in no time.

It's CasualPoet.
Location: Chinatown
Decor: Vintage & loving it
Cuteness: Through the roof
Stairs: Yes

OMG, the stairs were a killer cos the shop was located smack-bang in the middle of nowhere of New bridge road.
It was raining for a spell and we got wet, lost and utterly miserable until we finally found the shop and had to climb up 3 flights of narrow, killer stairs.

But it was worth it, amen.

Here are some photos to illustrate the how cosy and retro-groovy this place is.

Cosy O' meter level 10,0000

2 root beer float please!

It's small- true. Barely the size of my kitchen actually but they somehow managed to squeeze in a small dining area along with shelves that sell designer trinkets & ditsy things you never use but always want.

There are free board games to play, and free books to browse and you can stay there for hours on end with no one to bother you if you don't buy that extra regular coke.

Another one such place is Cat Socrates in Bras Basah. Go there when you feel like murdering your boss and calm down. Very effective.

Anyway, shan & i also visited the patisserie shop along Clark Quay: Nectarie
We ordered a microscopic slice of caramelized banana cake costing $8 *Chokes on bile* and are sent straight to heaven because THIS IS A SLICE OF BLOODY GOOD CAKE.

A slice of bloody good cake

Shall I describe it??
It's soft - Oh so unbelievably soft.
It's crunchy - Oh~~ the flaky dense banana caramel at the bottom.

You see your fork carve through the pale silken mousse and cut into the delectable chunk of banana sitting melodiously in a harmony of softness & satin.
What a ochestra of confectionary goodness that sings in your mouth and cascades down your throat that reaches it's crescendo in your stomach and leaves you in a state of shock, revelation and enlightenment.

Yes, cakes can taste this good.

And that's it. Till another time.

In the spirit of remembrance of a time now past, I have so humbly drawn the honored visages of whom that have came, saw and conquered,

(Carcicatures are only of those whom I can remember off the top of my head and have features distinct enough to be rendered by my poor poor skills. Enjoy. In no real order.)

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*PS : Gorillas are actually kind, warm, loving and generous mammals*

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*But, the one above isn't*

So so so so... ... ...

So so so so so ... ... ... and sos so so sos sos sos sososososos sssssssssssssssssssssssssss..... ummm...... am I still writing this???

Oh yeah, sorry, I fell asleep and my head fell on the "S" key for that brief moment.

Ummm... so..... ummm.... so.....so

Lemme write a poem about 'so'


The past few weeks has been a joke,
I've worked my ass off, now I'm broke

My eyes are closing on their own,
They feel like steel, they feel like stone.

My brain is melting down to dust,
The gears in there can't move but rust.

My life goes by like speeding trains,
A blur or white, a puff of pain.

The railroad tracks are bathed in smoke,
Carries it, my fears and hopes.

Always onward to unknown
Always onward to the dawn.


That was verbal diarrhoea. Kindly wipe clean with approved toilet paper and refain from trying to read it again.

Did I mention that I am very sleepy? I did? Well, I have to repeat this again because it impresses me how sleepy I am just so that it impresses my how sleepy I am that It impresses me how I am writing the same thing over and over again because I am just so sleepy.


OH MY LORD!!!! I AM SLEEPY.

Oh, yeah.... and I'm getting comments from people that my blogskin sucks to high heavens and it cracks their computer screens when they come to my blog.

PINK & GREEN DO NOT GO TOGETHER! ( Unless it's in a ham salad )

And the layout sucks and the main image sucks and the butterflies look like random nonsense to fill up the random nonsense watever and blah and blah blah blah


No, I will not change my blogskin. Yet.
Also, I have a soft spot for badly masked butterflies with a god-ugly lines trailing behind them.
Also, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and mine are just about melted in their sockets from over-use so that is moot point.

Anyway, I am gonna get some sleep so please do not call me at 2am asking for apple juice and kaya spread.

Yeah, random last line. Ignore. With toilet paper.

One day i went opposite my church for lunch.
There was this newly renovated food court which i sat in. Having a craving for bak chor mee, I ordered a bowl from the only noodle store there.

My bak chor mee arrived and here began the excruciating and fatally depressing entry that will follow. Look away if you don't wanna read suicide technics. Read on if you are a culinary masochist.

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That was the most awful bak chor mee i've ever eaten.
Bak chor mee, unlike laksa, is relatively easy to get the taste right.
Mince meat, liver, pork balls... the works. Perhaps the slight differences in sauces set some bak chor mees over the rest but other than that, i expect bak chor mees all around Singapore to have that standard, comfortable, recognisable bak chor mee taste.


There are good bak chor mees. There are bad bak chor mees. And there are simply awful bak chor mees that don't deserve to be called bak chor mee and should be sent into a HAZMAT lab for decontamination if ever you even sniff one.
This bak chor mee falls under the last category and will blow holes into it.

Firstly, the noodles is bad.
It is stringy, lumpy, cardboard hard and took the shape of my bowl no matter how many times i tried to mix it. Awesome for molding bird nests, terrible for making bak chor mee.

Next, the 'bak' in the bak chor mee is so non-existent it should just be called "mee".
The liver slices were shrivelled up bits of grey eraser shavings.
The amount of minced meat could fit under your fingernail.
The pork balls were made of pyrite.
In essence, it wasn't bak chor mee anymore but a mutated, ghastly, cruel parody of the original.

Is it worst than cockroaches?

YES!

Is it worst than George Bush?

YES!
Is it worst than an Uwe Boll film called Alone in the dark?

YES! But that was cutting abit close.

If one day I lost all my savings when the stock market crashed, and my husband ran away with his mistress, and i got into a car accident and lost my nose, and caught colon cancer, and suffer stroke ... ... i will come to this place and eat this bak chor mee as self-punishment.

Ok. End of that... now for other things.

Guess what happened to the AMK library?
They painted it blue!
Because, as everyone knows ... blue is an intellectual colour ... No? You don't?! Well, i outta... ..., wait! Is that a UFO! *runs away*.

Oh, and my brother in the spirit of Chinese New Year twisted out a road bike all by himself.
Praise for his nifty fingers and mind-blowing patience.


He is selling one for $US 74 but knows that no one will buy it and will quietly go back to auctioning useless household appliances on his ebay account.