One day i went opposite my church for lunch.
There was this newly renovated food court which i sat in. Having a craving for bak chor mee, I ordered a bowl from the only noodle store there.
My bak chor mee arrived and here began the excruciating and fatally depressing entry that will follow. Look away if you don't wanna read suicide technics. Read on if you are a culinary masochist.
-
-
-
-
-
That was the most awful bak chor mee i've ever eaten.
Bak chor mee, unlike laksa, is relatively easy to get the taste right.
Mince meat, liver, pork balls... the works. Perhaps the slight differences in sauces set some bak chor mees over the rest but other than that, i expect bak chor mees all around Singapore to have that standard, comfortable, recognisable bak chor mee taste.
There are good bak chor mees. There are bad bak chor mees. And there are simply awful bak chor mees that don't deserve to be called bak chor mee and should be sent into a HAZMAT lab for decontamination if ever you even sniff one.
This bak chor mee falls under the last category and will blow holes into it.
Firstly, the noodles is bad.
It is stringy, lumpy, cardboard hard and took the shape of my bowl no matter how many times i tried to mix it. Awesome for molding bird nests, terrible for making bak chor mee.
Next, the 'bak' in the bak chor mee is so non-existent it should just be called "mee".
The liver slices were shrivelled up bits of grey eraser shavings.
The amount of minced meat could fit under your fingernail.
The pork balls were made of pyrite.
In essence, it wasn't bak chor mee anymore but a mutated, ghastly, cruel parody of the original.
Is it worst than cockroaches?
YES!
Is it worst than George Bush?
YES!
Is it worst than an Uwe Boll film called Alone in the dark?
YES! But that was cutting abit close.
If one day I lost all my savings when the stock market crashed, and my husband ran away with his mistress, and i got into a car accident and lost my nose, and caught colon cancer, and suffer stroke ... ... i will come to this place and eat this bak chor mee as self-punishment.
Ok. End of that... now for other things.
Guess what happened to the AMK library?
They painted it blue!
Because, as everyone knows ... blue is an intellectual colour ... No? You don't?! Well, i outta... ..., wait! Is that a UFO! *runs away*.
Oh, and my brother in the spirit of Chinese New Year twisted out a road bike all by himself.
Praise for his nifty fingers and mind-blowing patience.
He is selling one for $US 74 but knows that no one will buy it and will quietly go back to auctioning useless household appliances on his ebay account.
