Oh look, I'm an adult.

When did that happen? And how do I make it stop?

It was my first time applying eyeliner to my own eyes with my own hands.
What can I say? I stabbed my eye into perfection - then broke down and cried blood.

Oh vanity, you liar. The next time I see a woman with beautifully kohled eyes I will know that she had suffered for her trade - the trade of being a woman.

I bought a squeegee lately.
There was no reason to buy it except that I've never bought one before and now I have one.
Cleaning windows is no fun, but I love the excuse of sitting at the ledge of my window - mist spray in one hand, squeegee in the other - and look all tough and professional like I know the secret art of squeegee cleaning.
You know how sometimes you stare at those uncles at the gas station and think to yourself, "Hey, cleaning cars with a squeegee actually looks like too much fun. "
No? Never? I can't be the only one.