One day i went opposite my church for lunch.
There was this newly renovated food court which i sat in. Having a craving for bak chor mee, I ordered a bowl from the only noodle store there.

My bak chor mee arrived and here began the excruciating and fatally depressing entry that will follow. Look away if you don't wanna read suicide technics. Read on if you are a culinary masochist.

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That was the most awful bak chor mee i've ever eaten.
Bak chor mee, unlike laksa, is relatively easy to get the taste right.
Mince meat, liver, pork balls... the works. Perhaps the slight differences in sauces set some bak chor mees over the rest but other than that, i expect bak chor mees all around Singapore to have that standard, comfortable, recognisable bak chor mee taste.


There are good bak chor mees. There are bad bak chor mees. And there are simply awful bak chor mees that don't deserve to be called bak chor mee and should be sent into a HAZMAT lab for decontamination if ever you even sniff one.
This bak chor mee falls under the last category and will blow holes into it.

Firstly, the noodles is bad.
It is stringy, lumpy, cardboard hard and took the shape of my bowl no matter how many times i tried to mix it. Awesome for molding bird nests, terrible for making bak chor mee.

Next, the 'bak' in the bak chor mee is so non-existent it should just be called "mee".
The liver slices were shrivelled up bits of grey eraser shavings.
The amount of minced meat could fit under your fingernail.
The pork balls were made of pyrite.
In essence, it wasn't bak chor mee anymore but a mutated, ghastly, cruel parody of the original.

Is it worst than cockroaches?

YES!

Is it worst than George Bush?

YES!
Is it worst than an Uwe Boll film called Alone in the dark?

YES! But that was cutting abit close.

If one day I lost all my savings when the stock market crashed, and my husband ran away with his mistress, and i got into a car accident and lost my nose, and caught colon cancer, and suffer stroke ... ... i will come to this place and eat this bak chor mee as self-punishment.

Ok. End of that... now for other things.

Guess what happened to the AMK library?
They painted it blue!
Because, as everyone knows ... blue is an intellectual colour ... No? You don't?! Well, i outta... ..., wait! Is that a UFO! *runs away*.

Oh, and my brother in the spirit of Chinese New Year twisted out a road bike all by himself.
Praise for his nifty fingers and mind-blowing patience.


He is selling one for $US 74 but knows that no one will buy it and will quietly go back to auctioning useless household appliances on his ebay account.

I'm so beat i've stuck toothpicks in my eyes to keep them open.

All you evil people out there, do not pass GO!

Do not collect $200! Do not mix soy beancurd with fried food!
If you see a cocktail sausage with quail eggs, they're MINE!

Ever so often, the parents would go out of the country and leave their kids with the car.
Here is my sis in all her newbie glory, driving my dad's ratty Toyota with the finesse and dexterity of a hippopotamus.



She takes a forlorn gaze at the never-ending traffic ... wondering why did god invent cross junctions.



She passes the cross junction after waiting for 3 whole decades! Horray! Breathes an almighty sigh of relief! I unbuckle my safety helmet.


Oh yeah... and i got myself a spanking new electric piano !!! (cue insane guitar riffs and confetti)



I got it from Cash Converters (bless its soul) at a heart-stopping $18 !!!

YES!

You, yes, YOU can get your very own no-brand electric piano too at $18! Yes, $18 gentlemen! Aye aye, i kid you not.
I was so damned surprised when they threw in the cable for me too! I mean, come on! $18 !

I triumphantly hoisted my catch back home, drowned in glory, honour and praise.... until I did a true test of it back home and realised that when you pressed anything more than 3 keys simultaneously, it played out an extra note.

Dang dang dang ~~ DANGGGggggg~~~

Trying hard to swallow my abject disappointment, I hereby convince myself that if i played 3 notes and it produced 5 ... that's an extra 2 notes free of charge!

You know how you always walk beside grabage trucks and get a whiff of that disgusting smell that's both nauseating, sour and cloyingly ripe at the same time?

You know how your stomach turns at that sourish smell not simply because of its glorious fragrance but also the vivid imagery of the mechanisim at the rear that churns up the stacks of waste and squeezes out rivulets of brown juice?

That nausea?

That revulsion?

That abomination?

You see the brown juice seeping onto the uncaring tar road and immediately walk round the puddle.


That puddle of brown garbage juice on the ground?

That's how i feel now.

ONLY IF YOU ARE BETWEEN 15 - 18, the post below concerns you.

No, it's not some X-rated chick flick specifically for this age range, but yeah, you guys are probably old enough to count and do multiplications.

I'm conducting a survey.

NO! Don't close this window, wait!

See, if you are between 15-18 years old (aprx. sec3 to poly 1), please take a look (and possibly complete) this very important survey which is the life-blood of me.

If you know anyone who is between 15-18, you can be a generous soul and help me spam- *cough* inform them of this survey. Thanks a bunch! Who knows... you can be the 9999th visitor and win a gajillion dollars *ahem*...

THE ULTIMATE SURVEY EXPERIENCE (click)

it's a survey of your views on yourself and the tech world apparently.

So, now I'm free!!

So free. Like a boulder off my shoulders, I'm free....

Hahah, saying like i'm getting holidays already, but it just feels like it.
I'm gonna play finish my Final Fantasy XII which i started 2 years ago and have not finished.
I'm gonna play all the Dunne 2000 i can stomach. I'm gonna buy back my Heroes of Might and Magic 3 and play till my eyes pop out.

Then I'm gonna complete my Resi Evil 4 on Pro mode which I'm halfway through but too scared to continue cos I'm at the waste disposal area.
Waste Disposal area means the Regenerator area. And although i've beaten the game 3 times already I'm just too scared of fighting a pro-mode regenerator. 
But i will, just you see Capcom.

Also, i went out with shan to watch the Dark Knight (what? still in cinemas?).
It was so so awesome. Just blew my brains out with sheer awesomeness and bombastic craziness. Love it love it love it!



The next day i went out with Miss oink and Miss greentea to have a dimsum buffet!
Awesome! Dim sum is one of those stupidly expensive bits of food alongside sushi and hagen daz ice-creams.




So a dimsum buffet was awesomeness in entirety. We ate till we burst then went off to watch the Mummy3 which deserve every single bit of its score in Rotten Tomatoes but was so much dumb fun it was worth its $7.

So.... yeah..... have fun!

Damn busy.
It's busy enough to kill a bee.
But if you look at it from a certain angle, it looks like a honey-comb. All wrinkly and gooey and nauseatingly sweet.
Actually, time feels too squashed and if i were superman, i'd kill the clock and i really don know what i'm talking about cos it's definitely the busy-ness and it's as crazy as a sandwitch under a steamroller.


Bon apetit. Send me to Mars on a jet.